Thursday, July 9, 2009
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The silent scream Who can speak for the little children who are raped, abused, neglected, or abandoned? What can we do to protect the weak and innocent? If only those little ones who cannot articulate their feelings or even formulate a complete sentence could really talk. I am certain they would reveal the dark secrets, shame, and guilt of so many adults. Many of our little ones are screaming but we cannot hear the screams because of the loud noises of self-gratification, ignorance, anger, selfishness, and stupidity. Following is the imaginative voice of a child who was wounded by a father. It is real. I hope this brings tears to your eyes. "Dad, I am too small to understand what life is all about. Yes, I do know when there is pain — even when it is emotional pain. When I was three years old, when you thought I would not know what was happening, you took a pen and destroyed my hymen. You laughed. I cried. It was painful. You also did this while my older brother was watching. The following week you took your finger and pushed it between by legs. That was very, very painful. One year later, then only four, you tried to have sex with me but I believe mommy came into the room and interrupted you. Many times after that, when no one was around, you forced me to have sex with you. I would plead for you to stop. I would try to scream by you would hold my mouth. "Dad, although I am only seven now, just talking about this causes pain. You are someone I should trust. You are the one who is causing me the most pain. Dad, why are you hurting me when you should really be loving me. I will never forget this pain you are causing me. I remember when I got a serious infection and you lied to the doctor. I had a high fever and lots of pain. You made me feel that I got sick because I was disobedient. "Dad, please stop causing me pain. My voice is too weak to scream for help. I am too young to explain to the police what is happening to me. In fact, since you are the adult you always try to discredit what I say. Most people would believe you because you are so nice and kind to others. You treat me badly in public and accuse me of being unruly. You beat me for the simplest wrong doing. Why dad? You have successfully made everyone think that I am the bad girl when you are the one who is bad. "God made dads to love and not to hurt. You are actually destroying me, dad. How can I trust you again? How can I trust other men in loving relationships? You have messed up my life, although it is only beginning. When I become a young woman, if I do reach that age, I believe I will be afraid to talk to men, more so to have them touch me or even hold my hand. " I am not sure if I will do well in high school or college. I am so nervous. I cannot sleep well at nights, because these are the times that you sneak into my room and force me to have sex with you. Each time when I'm alone in the dark I get frightened. My heart beats fast. My eyes are often filled with tears. Why? Because I am afraid you will open the door and come. "Dad, this even happens when I know you are away in another country. I am in a bad shape dad, and it's all because of you. I can't even tell mom because you threatened that if I did, you would really hurt me. There was one time I did try to tell her what you are doing to me but she accused me of being rude and disrespectful. She did not believe. "Who will believe me? "Who will listen to my pain? "I need a dad to love me. "I need a dad to trust. I am too young to speak with eloquent words of persuasion. I am too young you to express my true pain. I need someone to speak for me. I need someone to protect me. Dad — won't you stop destroying me!"
Barrington Brennen is a marriage and family therapist. Send your questions or comments to question@soencouragement.org or call 1-305-767-4976 or 1-242 323 8722, or snail mail: P.O. Box N-896, Nassau, The Bahamas.
Monday, June 15,2009 |
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