Thursday, July 23, 2009

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Man on the street: Would you date your friend's ex? As the topic of whether it is ever okay to date a friend's ex weighed heavily on our minds, The Nassau Guardian took to the streets to find out how people felt about this dilemma, and whether they thought it was right or wrong. "It depends on the relationship my friend and her ex had. If it was a long-term relationship and I knew they were in love and what-not, then most definitely I wouldn't. But if I meet some guy in a club and we talk, make-out, go on one date or something and then we end it, it doesn't matter. But seriously, my general thought is that no, you shouldn't date a friend's ex." — Leah Eneas, 26 Occupation: Entertainer "Guys have a code — you don't date anyone that your boy has dated. Time doesn't matter even if it was for three days or three years. I mean I have thought about it before and I spoke to my friend about it but even though he said it was cool, I still didn't pursue her because I thought that it would be too awkward." — Scharad Lightbourne, 29 Occupation: Photographer "No. I don't think you should because it shows that you have no respect for him or her. Maybe after a while after they break up and you talk with her, but even then it would be awkward. I'd be wondering if he's comparing me to her or thinking about her. I've been in a relationship like that before and I hated it because my friend and I aren't talking to one another because of it to this day. But I can understand if it happens to some extent because some people say that you dated and broke up with him so that we could meet. It can seriously be destiny." — Fiona Joseph, 18 Occupation: Student "I think it's very much okay because no one owns anyone. People are their own man or woman. The thing people need to understand is that some relationships will work while others will fail. Some people have the situation twisted so that even after they break up they are still territorial and can end up ruining someone else's happiness. I can understand that it is the natural human thing to love and to hurt. So yes, after being with someone for a long time and then them walking out of your life can, and will hurt because you loved them. And yes, it may hurt even more that your friend may like her and try to date her but we get too caught up in this emotional thing. It is also very natural and very human to be selfish too and sometimes you have to be, to secure your happiness." — David Hanna, 29 Occupation: Producer/artist "I wouldn't do it. It would be awkward. When you try to talk to her about it, she may get sad because he was her boyfriend first. I wouldn't want her to do it to me so I wouldn't do it to her." — Sasha Adderley, 19 Occupation: Student "Honestly, if I find a connection with my friend's ex and he doesn't understand I can't say that I would feel badly. I made a connection with her and it is different from when he was with her. It may not have worked out with them but it doesn't mean that it won't work out with us." — Javon Nixon, 18 Occupation: Student "No! I think it's based on loyalty. I think that if you are a friend I think that you should be loyal to that person and not date that person's ex." — Wacara Hanna, 28 Occupation: Accounts clerk "These situations are personal. I feel that they have to be handled on a very individual basis. The decision to do it or not is something that the three persons involved will have to consider. Society's expectations or beliefs have nothing to do it. The persons directly affected by the decision just need to be open, honest and upfront about it. That is all." — Omar Williams, 32 Occupation: Artist "It depends on the situation — if they broke up for a while, compatibility . . . among other stuff. Of course it will cause problems but life goes on. It also questions the friendship in regards to whether you as the new girlfriend pursued the relationship the whole time." — Kimetria Pratt, 26 Occupation: Office assistant "No, I don't think that it is the right thing to do. As a true friend you should never do that." — David Adderley, 49 Occupation: Security guard Tuesday, June 23, 2009