The Best of Obama

By Ian Strachan, For East Street Blues

They called the man a leftist, a socialist, a terrorist, an Arab. But Americans have finally chosen character over color. Forty-five years after Martin Luther King Jr. gave the "I Have a Dream" Speech in 1963, and 145 years after Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Declaration in 1863, a black man is President of the most powerful nation in the world and has taken a giant step toward reconciliation.

I'd like to share an e-mail with you that my dear friend Valerie Sweeney sent me on Tuesday morning. She is an English Professor at Hampton University in Virginia.

"Steve and I were at the polls at 6 a.m. The line stretched through the hallways of the school (the building is designed in a circle and the line went up one side down the other all the way around) and out, snaking back and forth 6 times the length of the covered blacktop and then out into the rain along the walking trail in the adjacent park nearly to the main road . . .

"We saw young men who looked like they had just stepped off the street without sleeping, old men who never thought they'd see the day. White middle class people who were holding on to their umbrellas for dear life. Some old people were dragging chairs and sitting whenever they could. Young couples with their babies, some too sick to be out in the rain. Brown, tan, black, red, high yellow, pink, faces full of patience and determination. Out to vote! Believing in the democratic process. Saying once again, we are not a bitter people, although we are embattled, though we are broken, though we have been discouraged. We are here now to let our voices be heard. One old woman sitting in line said, 'I ain't voted since Kennedy!' It is a very proud day for people who have been so mercilessly disenfranchised.

"I pray that the God who spares a remnant, the God my redeemer, looks upon this day as a day of reconciliation for the nation, both internally and abroad. I have already been encouraged by what I witnessed today."

I cried when I got that e-mail. One hundred forty-five years.

Now, before I get too carried away, let me say that I don't expect miracles from Barack. WalMARTland is in a deep, deep hole and it remains to be seen how much of Barack's promises are actually deliverable. But Obama ran the most impressive campaign I have ever seen and conducted himself with amazing poise.

I'd like to share some of what endeared Obama to the world. It wasn't just his idealism; it was his wit, his warmth and his humility. Here are Obama's 10 funniest remarks from the campaign:

1. Responding to McCain's attacks: "Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten, I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich."

2. Discussing his image at Al Smith's Dinner: "Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for 'That One.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome."

3. Then there's this gem: "Yesterday, John McCain actually said that if he's president that he'll take on, and I quote, 'the old boys network in Washington'. Now I'm not making this up. This is somebody who's been in Congress for 26 years, who put seven of the most powerful Washington lobbyists in charge of his campaign. And now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come, on!"

4. Another: "You notice that people who've been in Washington too long, they don't talk like ordinary folks. We had this debate in Las Vegas, and somebody asked me, What are your weaknesses? So I said, 'well, you know, I don't keep track of paper that well, I'm always losing paper, my desk is a mess.' And then they asked the next two candidates. And one candidate says, 'well, my biggest weakness is I'm just so passionate about helping poor people.' And then the other one says, I'm just so impatient to help the American people solve their problems.' So then I realize well, I wish I'd gone last and then I would have known. I'm stupid that way; I thought that when they asked what your biggest weakness was, they asked what your biggest weakness was. And now I know that my biggest weakness is I like to help old ladies across the street."

5. On Bill Clinton being the first black President: "I would have to...investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother."

6. Posing with a lady in Indiana when his pocket began vibrating: "Now that's my phone buzzing there. I don't want you to think I'm getting fresh or anything."

7. Responding to McCain's gung-ho approach to solving America's energy needs: "That's what he talked about yesterday, 'I want to drill here. I want to drill now.' I don't know where he was standing. I think he was in a building somewhere."

8. Reacting to the excitement in Kenya at the thought that as President he'd bring development aid to his father's native land: "I've tried to explain how it works these days. First comes the invasion, and then billions in aid."

9. "Sen. McCain bragged about how as chairman of the Commerce Committee in the Senate, he had oversight of every part of the economy. Well, all I can say to Sen. McCain is, 'Nice job. Nice job.' Where is he getting these lines? The lobbyists running his campaign? ... I'm not making this up, you can't make this up. It's like a 'Saturday Night Live' routine."

10. And finally: "They say I need to be seasoned; they say I need to be stewed. They say, 'We need to boil all the hope out of him — like us — and then he'll be ready'."

I wish Barack and Michelle Obama, and all the people of America, all the very best in the next four years. May you be better than you knew you could be. OF COURSE, YOU CAN!

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